Last month I was back in High Bridge, NJ, one of my very favorite places to be, demonstrating writing lessons and student conferences in the classroom.  Now here is a school (dedicated principal,  talented and highly committed teachers, engaged students) that can’t help but make me look good.   Nevertheless, I will admit it, I am always nervous before modeling.  The jitters are unavoidable: I’m working with students who are new to me, while being observed by half-a-dozen adults, and often conducting lessons (based on a teacher-requested topic) that I’ve never done before!  But, perhaps not suprisingly, the greatest risks often bring the greatest rewards.

I want to share two experiences I had in High Bridge, but I will divide the posts.  The first was with Kim T’s pull-out class of nine third graders.   Kim asked for a lesson on voice.  I knew that voice can be a challenging trait for many eight and nine-year-olds, but especially for those who might have difficulty processing and/or articulating feelings. 

I chose Jane Kurt’s Rain Romp: Stomping Away a Grouchy Day as a mentor text.  I read the book from beginning to end so students could enjoy the lively story.  Then I asked students, as I reread the story, to stop me when they heard voice.  I recorded the phrases they selected, and their conclusions regarding author’s craft in a T-chart.  For example:

 After, we had recorded a list of eight examples, I asked students to consider using some of these techniques as they wrote that day. 

Here is what Jessica wrote (the spelling and correct conventions are mine):

Words that Make You Angry

I woke out of my bed. Angry words fell through my head.  I jumped out of bed, saw words everywhere.  They were feeling words.  I felt angry.  Really angry. I yelled, "Get out of my room!" The words straggled out with some toony sounds.  I got my net to catch the words. 

It continues for a page or two and end with: "All the words are gone for now."

Here are a few sentences of Nicholas’s piece:

Once there is a Grandma.  She is scared of everything: rabbis, food, trees.  But she likes surgeries, and shots, and home. And shopping.  She is scared of dogs.

Voice?  You betcha!  Oh, the power of the right mentor text!